lanceisgreat

truth

2008-05-03T19:54:53Z

I have recently come to the conclusion that pretending to be something I'm not will never get me to where I should be. A long time ago I made a change in my life and thought I would be better for it. It wasn't a major life changing choice but just a fork in the road that I chose to take. It isn't that I have regretted the choice. If anything it has shown me in a clear way that I was better off being me instead of someone that I wasn't, but thought everyone else wanted me to be.

I like who I am, no I LOVE who I am. A LOT of people don't like me, and I really truly am OK with that. I don't live my life trying to make everyone like me. But I am gonna be me, take it or leave it. If you choose to leave it, I am OK with that too.

Barack Obama

2008-04-11T23:51:17Z

Even though I knew it before today, after today I am convinced that Barack Obama may be one of the greatest Americans of my lifetime.

Obama today states that poor people cling to religion(and guns) out of bitterness due to their economic situations! Oh My GOD;) Someone with the BALLS to speak the truth?!
Now as eloquently spoken a man as Obama he HAD to know the repercussions of this statement.
A LOT of people are not gonna want to hear this or admit the truth of it, but DAMN you gotta love the man for saying it!

I wish I could vote 100,000 times for this man!!!

B-Rock and roll all night and party every day!

Happy Times!!

2007-09-22T18:31:45Z

I'm just in an incredibly awesome mood today so I wanted to just list a few things that make me happy;

1. Brittany Murphy movies, I just love her to death!! She is soo beautiful and funny and goofy! I just wanna pretend she's cotton candy.
Fave Brit movies
a. Just Married
b. Little Black Book
c. Uptown Girls
d. Girl,Interrupted

2. Great weather just generally makes me feel good
3. Riding the bike in said great weather
4. South Park
5. A good workout
6. Friends who really care and don't just pretend
7. A great peanut butter and jelly sandwich with about 3/4 inch of PB!!!
8. All of these things in the same day!!!!!

9. Buckeye game
10. Notre Dame being absolutely horrible!!! ;)
11. The baseball playoffs are really close
12. ICP tickets for Oct. 30th
13. Oct. 13th party for Angie's B-day
14. Roosters
15. "Sunshine...on my shoulders makes me happy" randomly singing John Denver songs

16. Charles Darwin
17. Richard Dawkins
18. currently reading "God is Not Great" by Christopher Hitchens
19. I really miss Sarah Michelle Gellar on TV!!
20. I would sell my non-existant soul to keep this mood!!!!

Losing my patience

2007-05-09T17:58:11Z

I'm getting really tired of religion.
Screw Al Sharpton!
Screw Mitt Romney!
F the Pope and his threats of excommunication!

I lose more patience every day for people who live their lives by this fairy-tale bullshit story of religion.

I don't care if you're Christian/Catholic,Mormon,Islamic,Jewish IT DOESN'T MATTER it's all the same BS fair-tale make believe pyramid scam and I'm sick of it in my schools and I'm really F'N sick of it in my government!!!

F JESUS
F "GOD"

I'm really getting pissed off!
Grow up people and quit believing this garbage.
Sane rational people cannot honestly fall for this crap much longer.

There is no "GOD" who hears and answers your prayers.
We aren't special, we are SO insignificant to the universe.

I gotta go shoot something, or set a Bible on fire or something!

GOD religion pisses me off!

Yeah

2007-04-01T13:52:53Z

Since I was little I've had a Charlie Brown coffee cup that reads "I Feel Strangely Confident Today". On days like today it rings so true. Even though it is sucky outside today and wet and cold and rainy, I just feel so amazingly confident today.

Baseball season begins today! I know I think I'm the only remaining baseball fan on the planet but Opening Day is the greatest day of the year for me. Not only is baseball one of my favorite things ever, it just symbolizes all that is good. The weather will be getting better, leading to fun outside times. Time to get the bike out and roll. Time to have cook-outs and bonfires etc and spend some time with the friends.

The winter blahs and cabin fever were especially bad this year. Angie and I were both about to explode and kill each other until we had a day or two of sunshine to realize we weren't mad at each other, just ready to get out of the house and have some fun. Now we are trying to get some plans made for ourselves and our friends so we can have some good times!

I hope all of you are ready to spend some time with us and have some fun!? I would welcome any suggestions if anyone has something they'd really like to do. I am planning on having a nice bonfire soon and having everyone down. But with the bike riding weather here, I'm open to suggestions that anyone else has.

On a completely separate note, the gym is doing wonders for me. I am not nearly as depressed as I used to be. I have a lot of weight to lose, but I think I can get there. I have a lot more energy and have been in a very positive mood too! There for a while I was having serious self esteem and confidence issues as well as being just angry and depressed all the time. Now I feel like a totally different person. Life is a lot easier when you have a positive spin on it instead of being constantly negative!

I want to thank All of my friends. I miss you all and hope to see you all real soon.
And to those people who aren't my friends but used to be........I'm over it, it's your loss not mine so BITE ME!

Importance of Life

2007-03-16T12:37:18Z

I really felt the need to put this down. I usually only write here when I'm either really happy or really depressed. Luckily I haven't been suffering too much on the depression thing.
I just finished reading the greatest book ever written and a passage in it has just struck me as one of the most important things I've ever read. So I just have to share it. Now I know that no one actually reads but I really feel the need to share to anyone who may.

The passage is from "The God Delusion" by Richard Dawkins

"..I tried to convey how lucky we are to be alive, given that the vast majority of
people who could potentially be thrown up by the combinational lottery of DNA will
in fact never be born. For those of us lucky enough to be here, I pictured the
reletive brevity of life by imagining a laser-thin spotlight creeping along a
gigantic ruler of time. Everything before or after the spotlight is shrouded
in the darkness of the past, or the darkness of the unknown future. We are
staggeringly lucky to find ourselves in the spotlight. However brief our time
in the sun, if we waste a second of it, or complain that it is dull or barren
or boring, couldn't this be seen as a callous insult to the unborn trillions who
will never even be offered life in the first place? As many atheists have said
better than me, the knowledge that we have only one life should make it all the
more precious. The atheist view is correspondingly life-affirming and life-
enhancing, while at the same time never being tainted with self-delusion, wishful
thinking, or the whingeing self-pity of those who feel that life owes them something."

That passage just seemed to stand out and punch me in the face and tell me that I have been wasting my life at times. I complain a lot about being unimportant or without a reason, or bored, and I cannot do this anymore. Life is precious! My life is precious! I love my friends and family and from this point on I vow to do better as a person and to treat every moment like it is the most important time in my life!

T.L.O.S.

2007-02-25T23:16:53Z

Wow, was that a temporary loss of sanity or what?
I'm OK now, and life isn't that bad after all.
Thanks for great friends!

Head vs. Heart

2007-02-25T20:11:18Z

I feel like shit today. Not that it matters. Why is life full of cruel and ironic twists? Is it better to put up a facade of happiness when you're not? Or to try and just accept reality no matter how much you don't like it? I don't want to bring others down to where I am, they don't deserve that.

I have come to the conclusion that happiness is something only attained in fairy tales. Just when you THINK you're happy, you get sucker punched in the gut into a reality check. Maybe my expectations are too high? Or maybe I have too much free time on my hands? Maybe I'm tired of this freaking weather and I'm dying to get out on my bike where I can be happy and care free?

It may be my OCD or something, but when I take a pencil and paper and do the equation that is my life I really SHOULD be happy, but why aren't I? I am a very lucky guy and I do appreciate everything I have. I have a great wife, and a couple great friends and people who love me. I have a nice home and reliable transportation. I have a reliable job. It doesn't really satisfy me, but it pays the bills. I have no reason to be so depressed all the time. But I am.

I feel like shit about a certain topic I don't wish to discuss also. It's kind of a guilt that is inside me that I can't get rid of. It's only me, it has nothing to do with anyone else. No one can fix it. I don't even think guilt is the right word either. I just have a feeling in my gut that I just shouldn't have. I have talked to myself about it numerous times and for a while my head wins out. I really am a common sense kinda guy. Everything in my life has to fit into a nice neat mathematical formula as to where it belongs. Hence my atheism. So why is it that sometimes 1+1=3? I can't fix it. It's like a virus and every time I think it's fixed, WHAM 3 is right there.

I am a good person, really I am. I would never ever ever intentionally hurt anyone. Not even just friends and family, I wouldn't hurt anyone on purpose. So is my guilty conscience what is adding up to 3? I haven't done anything to make myself feel this way. I have nothing to be guilty of. Yet in the pit of my stomach I feel like I'm the world's biggest asshole. What can I do to fix it?

I have a horrible tendency to dwell on things that I shouldn't. Isn't there a saying about idle hands are a tool of the devil? Not that I believe in the devil but I understand where that comes from. When I'm here alone in the quiet that is my being I tend to over analyze things and make everything out to be worse than it really is.

Maybe I should join the gym just to get out of my house before I drive myself insane. I swear I never used to be like this. I want it to just go away. It hurts. I am so full of love that I think it is killing me. Isn't that selfish of me to think that I give a lot more love than I receive? God I'm a horrible person, how self centered is that. I dislike myself more and more when I dig into my own thoughts. There really is something wrong with me. I better stop now before I discover that maybe I'm not the nice guy I thought I was.

OMG I'm dying from laughing and I love Sarah!

2007-02-17T13:56:11Z

Oh My God I love Sarah Silverman...

Talking about unprotected sex.....Sarah writes down how many times she's had unprotected sex

Nurse:There are two numbers here
Sarah:That one's for the front
Nurse:But they are the same number
Sarah:Yeah, I'm kinda OCD like that!

I can't stop laughing!

Tivo top 10

2007-02-12T23:20:10Z

Top 10 TV shows on right now that are a must.

1. The Simpsons; a classic, the greatest show ever made and still rolling strong! You can watch the same episode 10 times and catch something you missed every time.

2. South Park; would be easily number one if not for Simpsons, Parker and Stone are pure genius at work. With deep current storylines AND toilet humor, it's head and shoulders above Family Guy's stupid one liners.

3. Heroes; I've been pleasantly surprised so far, I can't miss it.

4. Bones; Yes I know it's a CSI rip-off but it has that Moonlighting hint of a love story that adds another level. Boreanaz is and always will be a favorite,from Buffy to Angel and now Bones.

5. CSI; The original only! Marg Helgenburger is so hot for a 50 year old woman! William Peterson is the best leading actor on TV, Keifer Sutherland couldn't hold his jock!

6. Family Guy;still funny but not near the quality of Simpsons or South Park

7. 'Til Death;scarily realistic to us married folk,Brad Garrett is funny and his wife on the show(can't remember her name)has a great rack!LOL

8. Mythbusters;gotta love Jaime and Adam and damn if Kari isn't a hot little red-head!

9. American Idol; I never watched until this year and I have to admit it's a guilty pleasure. I can't knock it.

10. 24; Probably the most overrated show on TV but somehow still falls into the top 10. I'm just not impressed with the storylines. And the Chloe chick is disgustingly ugly,enough to almost not watch the show.

20 Movies that will make you pee laughing

2007-02-12T22:52:05Z

The 20 funniest movies of all time that everyone in the world must see, as per me!

1. Bad Santa
2. Dumb and Dumber
3. Caddyshack
4. South Park:Bigger,Longer,Uncut
5. Spaceballs
6. Blazing Saddles
7. Big Lebowski
8. Airplane
9. Liar Liar
10. Happy Gilmore
11. Billy Madison
12. History of the World Part 1
13. Office Space
14. Me,Myself,and Irene
15. Shrek
16. Kingpin
17. Ace Ventura
18. Bruce Almighty
19. Groundhog Day
20. Freddy Got Fingered

Great Day

2007-02-11T22:37:00Z

Today I have decided is a great day to be alive.
Tomorrow I will remind myself of how I feel today.
I don't always appreciate my life.
As of recently I have decided to make it a priority.
My life is great!
I have great friends!
My wife is great.
I love my home.
I hate cold weather,but spring is coming,and that is great!
This isn't a temporary change either.
From here on out, I'm committed to happiness(or at least and appreciation of the good!)
I love Sarah Michelle Gellar,and also Sarah Silverman
Unfortunately they are both fighting over me
But hey, that's great too!

I hope you are having a great day too!

Jesus

2007-02-03T14:33:08Z

For most of us Jesus is sold to us from birth, just like the Easter Bunny,Santa Claus,the Tooth Fairy,and so on. Why then is it so hard to shed one fairy tale creation over all the others?

There is no proof that a man named Jesus of Nazareth even existed, yet millions of people dedicate their lives,time,and money to a cause based on a fictional character.

I really recommend the movie by Brian Flemming called "The God Who Wasn't There" it is one of the most eye opening movies ever made. It shows the hypocrisy of the Christian religion.

People put such faith in a book that was written by unreliable human beings. The entire Bible was ordered by Constantine to use as a tool of the government to easily rule people like herding sheep. It is amazing to me that we have detailed written accounts of Egyptian pharoahs and a detailed account of the Roman empire yet no one other than the Bible even mentions Jesus' existence! Yet because we are brainwashed from birth to believe it, it becomes so hard to break the shackles of "Faith".

I could write for days on the inaccuracy of the Bible and all of the scare tactics and doomsday prophecies which have come to be false. I really just wanted to concentrate on the pyramid scam of Jesus' existence.

Did you know that when Paul wrote the gospels it was at least 60-80 years after Jesus was said to have lived? And most scholars believe that when he wrote them that he was intentionally writing a fictional story! Yet somehow almost 2000 years after they were written we've ignorantly passed them into reality!

There are also dozens of agnostic "gods" who existed before Jesus with the EXACT same story, yet Xians are quick to throw them away as false prophets. Born to a virgin, on the winter solstice, 12 disciples, hung on a cross,etc etc,,,the EXACT same story. If you don't believe me I will show you my examples(also check my myspace blog). Google Mithra,google Dionysus,Osiris,Thor, and on and on and on. The SAME story. Yet people believe in Jesus. Amazing.

There is not ONE,NOT ONE,shred of evidence of ANY facts to the Jesus story. If you've got one, you're the only person on the planet that has it, so please share. Faith in something is good. I have faith in my parents, I have faith in my friends. I have faith in gravity. I have faith in evolution. But you have to have something to base that faith on. Whether it is past experiences with friends, or whether it is science, but you can't have faith in something that so clearly doesn't exist. If I hold a baseball in my hand and open my fingers, I have faith that gravity will pull it down to the floor. Not in an imaginary friend saving my "soul".

Let me ask you this. If there was a "God" and he created life, why would he reward only those who believed in his "son"? If he created everyone great and small,black or white,tall or short, then why would only Xians be right and everyone else damned? There is just no common sense involved in Xianity.

Movies

2007-01-23T01:09:33Z

OK, this isn't a list of the "best" movies of all time. This is a list of movies that I enjoy watching the most. There is a huge diff. hence the inclusion of "Freddy Got Fingered" and the exclusion of "Empire Strikes Back".

1. Bull Durham
2. Field of Dreams
3. Dumb and Dumber
4. Bad Santa
5. Spaceballs
6. South Park:Bigger,Longer,Uncut
7. Caddyshack
8. Outlaw Josey Wales
9. Unforgiven
10. 12 Monkeys
11. Fight Club
12. Pulp Fiction
13. Absolute Power
14. High Plains Drifter
15. Pale Rider
16. Liar Liar
17. Blazing Saddles
18. Baseketball
19. Monsters, Inc.
20. Shrek
21. Toy Story
22. Finding Nemo
23. Happy Gilmore
24. Billy Madison
25. Me,Myself,and Irene
26. Die Hard with a Vengence
27. The Rookie
28. Big Lebowski
29. Kingpin
30. Major League
31. Ice Age
32. Ice Age 2
33. Aladdin
34. Beetlejuice
35. Just Married
36. Cruel Intentions
37. Deep Impact
38. The Last Boy Scout
39. Edward Scissorhands
40. Trial and Error
41. Groundhog Day
42. Goonies
43. Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
44. Toy Story 2
45. American Pie
46. The Mask
47. Bruce Almighty
48. The New Guy
49. Bring it on
50. Wizard of Oz
51. Multiplicity
52. Click
53. Over the Hedge
54. Ace Ventura
55. Freddy Got Fingered
56. Office Space
57. Walking Tall
58. Girl,Interrupted
59. Die Hard
60. Armageddon
61. It Could Happen to You
62. Two Mules for Sister Sara
63. Heartbreak Ridge
64. Sling Blade
65. JFK
66. Batman
67. Forrest Gump
68. The Shining
69. Final Destination
70. Wedding Singer
71. The Family Man
72. The Little Mermaid
73. The Great Outdoors
74. The Doors
75. National Lampoons Vacation
76. National Lampoons Christmas Vacation
77. Tin Cup
78. 50 First Dates
79. Uptown Girls
80. Meet the Parents
81. Shrek 2
82. Barnyard
83. American Pie 2
84. 10 Things I hate about you
85. Butterfly Effect
86. The Princess Bride
87. Signs
88. The Village
89. Matrix
90. Dances with Wolves
91. K-Pax
92. Splash
93. From Dusk till Dawn
94. Snatch
95. You've Got Mail
96. Rundown
97. Saving Silverman
98. There's Something About Mary
99. Kelly's Heroes
100. Basic Instinct

Honorable Mention: Funny Farm,Running Man,Total Recall,True Lies,Terminator 2,Big,Wrong Turn,Orgasmo,Beauty and the Beast,Pee Wee's Big Adventure,Batman Returns,Sliver,Final Destination2,Sixth Sense,Riding in Cars with Boys,Never Been Kissed,Cape Fear,Wild Things,Beautiful Mind,Cast Away,Big,American Beauty,The Color of Night,Dirty Harry,The Gauntlet,Play Misty For Me,Magnum Force,Waterworld,13 going on 30,The Ring,War of the Worlds,Hide and Seek,Minority Report,Days of Thunder,Mr.and Mrs.Smith,Cold Mountain,Pearl Harbor,Meet Joe Black,My Girl,Rocky IV,many more