I have recently come to the conclusion that pretending to be something I'm not will never get me to where I should be. A long time ago I made a change in my life and thought I would be better for it. It wasn't a major life changing choice but just a fork in the road that I chose to take. It isn't that I have regretted the choice. If anything it has shown me in a clear way that I was better off being me instead of someone that I wasn't, but thought everyone else wanted me to be.

I like who I am, no I LOVE who I am. A LOT of people don't like me, and I really truly am OK with that. I don't live my life trying to make everyone like me. But I am gonna be me, take it or leave it. If you choose to leave it, I am OK with that too.

Even though I knew it before today, after today I am convinced that Barack Obama may be one of the greatest Americans of my lifetime.

Obama today states that poor people cling to religion(and guns) out of bitterness due to their economic situations! Oh My GOD;) Someone with the BALLS to speak the truth?!
Now as eloquently spoken a man as Obama he HAD to know the repercussions of this statement.
A LOT of people are not gonna want to hear this or admit the truth of it, but DAMN you gotta love the man for saying it!

I wish I could vote 100,000 times for this man!!!

B-Rock and roll all night and party every day!

I'm just in an incredibly awesome mood today so I wanted to just list a few things that make me happy;

1. Brittany Murphy movies, I just love her to death!! She is soo beautiful and funny and goofy! I just wanna pretend she's cotton candy.
Fave Brit movies
a. Just Married
b. Little Black Book
c. Uptown Girls
d. Girl,Interrupted

2. Great weather just generally makes me feel good
3. Riding the bike in said great weather
4. South Park
5. A good workout
6. Friends who really care and don't just pretend
7. A great peanut butter and jelly sandwich with about 3/4 inch of PB!!!
8. All of these things in the same day!!!!!

9. Buckeye game
10. Notre Dame being absolutely horrible!!! ;)
11. The baseball playoffs are really close
12. ICP tickets for Oct. 30th
13. Oct. 13th party for Angie's B-day
14. Roosters
15. "Sunshine...on my shoulders makes me happy" randomly singing John Denver songs

16. Charles Darwin
17. Richard Dawkins
18. currently reading "God is Not Great" by Christopher Hitchens
19. I really miss Sarah Michelle Gellar on TV!!
20. I would sell my non-existant soul to keep this mood!!!!

Tags: a better day than normal
Current Mood: chipper
Current Music: Cartman singing "I am the Dog, the big bad Dog"

I'm getting really tired of religion.
Screw Al Sharpton!
Screw Mitt Romney!
F the Pope and his threats of excommunication!

I lose more patience every day for people who live their lives by this fairy-tale bullshit story of religion.

I don't care if you're Christian/Catholic,Mormon,Islamic,Jewish IT DOESN'T MATTER it's all the same BS fair-tale make believe pyramid scam and I'm sick of it in my schools and I'm really F'N sick of it in my government!!!

F JESUS
F "GOD"

I'm really getting pissed off!
Grow up people and quit believing this garbage.
Sane rational people cannot honestly fall for this crap much longer.

There is no "GOD" who hears and answers your prayers.
We aren't special, we are SO insignificant to the universe.

I gotta go shoot something, or set a Bible on fire or something!

GOD religion pisses me off!

Since I was little I've had a Charlie Brown coffee cup that reads "I Feel Strangely Confident Today". On days like today it rings so true. Even though it is sucky outside today and wet and cold and rainy, I just feel so amazingly confident today.

Baseball season begins today! I know I think I'm the only remaining baseball fan on the planet but Opening Day is the greatest day of the year for me. Not only is baseball one of my favorite things ever, it just symbolizes all that is good. The weather will be getting better, leading to fun outside times. Time to get the bike out and roll. Time to have cook-outs and bonfires etc and spend some time with the friends.

The winter blahs and cabin fever were especially bad this year. Angie and I were both about to explode and kill each other until we had a day or two of sunshine to realize we weren't mad at each other, just ready to get out of the house and have some fun. Now we are trying to get some plans made for ourselves and our friends so we can have some good times!

I hope all of you are ready to spend some time with us and have some fun!? I would welcome any suggestions if anyone has something they'd really like to do. I am planning on having a nice bonfire soon and having everyone down. But with the bike riding weather here, I'm open to suggestions that anyone else has.

On a completely separate note, the gym is doing wonders for me. I am not nearly as depressed as I used to be. I have a lot of weight to lose, but I think I can get there. I have a lot more energy and have been in a very positive mood too! There for a while I was having serious self esteem and confidence issues as well as being just angry and depressed all the time. Now I feel like a totally different person. Life is a lot easier when you have a positive spin on it instead of being constantly negative!

I want to thank All of my friends. I miss you all and hope to see you all real soon.
And to those people who aren't my friends but used to be........I'm over it, it's your loss not mine so BITE ME!

I really felt the need to put this down. I usually only write here when I'm either really happy or really depressed. Luckily I haven't been suffering too much on the depression thing.
I just finished reading the greatest book ever written and a passage in it has just struck me as one of the most important things I've ever read. So I just have to share it. Now I know that no one actually reads but I really feel the need to share to anyone who may.

The passage is from "The God Delusion" by Richard Dawkins


"..I tried to convey how lucky we are to be alive, given that the vast majority of
people who could potentially be thrown up by the combinational lottery of DNA will
in fact never be born. For those of us lucky enough to be here, I pictured the
reletive brevity of life by imagining a laser-thin spotlight creeping along a
gigantic ruler of time. Everything before or after the spotlight is shrouded
in the darkness of the past, or the darkness of the unknown future. We are
staggeringly lucky to find ourselves in the spotlight. However brief our time
in the sun, if we waste a second of it, or complain that it is dull or barren
or boring, couldn't this be seen as a callous insult to the unborn trillions who
will never even be offered life in the first place? As many atheists have said
better than me, the knowledge that we have only one life should make it all the
more precious. The atheist view is correspondingly life-affirming and life-
enhancing, while at the same time never being tainted with self-delusion, wishful
thinking, or the whingeing self-pity of those who feel that life owes them something."

That passage just seemed to stand out and punch me in the face and tell me that I have been wasting my life at times. I complain a lot about being unimportant or without a reason, or bored, and I cannot do this anymore. Life is precious! My life is precious! I love my friends and family and from this point on I vow to do better as a person and to treat every moment like it is the most important time in my life!

Current Mood: excited

Wow, was that a temporary loss of sanity or what?
I'm OK now, and life isn't that bad after all.
Thanks for great friends!

I feel like shit today. Not that it matters. Why is life full of cruel and ironic twists? Is it better to put up a facade of happiness when you're not? Or to try and just accept reality no matter how much you don't like it? I don't want to bring others down to where I am, they don't deserve that.

I have come to the conclusion that happiness is something only attained in fairy tales. Just when you THINK you're happy, you get sucker punched in the gut into a reality check. Maybe my expectations are too high? Or maybe I have too much free time on my hands? Maybe I'm tired of this freaking weather and I'm dying to get out on my bike where I can be happy and care free?

It may be my OCD or something, but when I take a pencil and paper and do the equation that is my life I really SHOULD be happy, but why aren't I? I am a very lucky guy and I do appreciate everything I have. I have a great wife, and a couple great friends and people who love me. I have a nice home and reliable transportation. I have a reliable job. It doesn't really satisfy me, but it pays the bills. I have no reason to be so depressed all the time. But I am.

I feel like shit about a certain topic I don't wish to discuss also. It's kind of a guilt that is inside me that I can't get rid of. It's only me, it has nothing to do with anyone else. No one can fix it. I don't even think guilt is the right word either. I just have a feeling in my gut that I just shouldn't have. I have talked to myself about it numerous times and for a while my head wins out. I really am a common sense kinda guy. Everything in my life has to fit into a nice neat mathematical formula as to where it belongs. Hence my atheism. So why is it that sometimes 1+1=3? I can't fix it. It's like a virus and every time I think it's fixed, WHAM 3 is right there.

I am a good person, really I am. I would never ever ever intentionally hurt anyone. Not even just friends and family, I wouldn't hurt anyone on purpose. So is my guilty conscience what is adding up to 3? I haven't done anything to make myself feel this way. I have nothing to be guilty of. Yet in the pit of my stomach I feel like I'm the world's biggest asshole. What can I do to fix it?

I have a horrible tendency to dwell on things that I shouldn't. Isn't there a saying about idle hands are a tool of the devil? Not that I believe in the devil but I understand where that comes from. When I'm here alone in the quiet that is my being I tend to over analyze things and make everything out to be worse than it really is.

Maybe I should join the gym just to get out of my house before I drive myself insane. I swear I never used to be like this. I want it to just go away. It hurts. I am so full of love that I think it is killing me. Isn't that selfish of me to think that I give a lot more love than I receive? God I'm a horrible person, how self centered is that. I dislike myself more and more when I dig into my own thoughts. There really is something wrong with me. I better stop now before I discover that maybe I'm not the nice guy I thought I was.

Oh My God I love Sarah Silverman...

Talking about unprotected sex.....Sarah writes down how many times she's had unprotected sex

Nurse:There are two numbers here
Sarah:That one's for the front
Nurse:But they are the same number
Sarah:Yeah, I'm kinda OCD like that!

I can't stop laughing!

Top 10 TV shows on right now that are a must.

1. The Simpsons; a classic, the greatest show ever made and still rolling strong! You can watch the same episode 10 times and catch something you missed every time.

2. South Park; would be easily number one if not for Simpsons, Parker and Stone are pure genius at work. With deep current storylines AND toilet humor, it's head and shoulders above Family Guy's stupid one liners.

3. Heroes; I've been pleasantly surprised so far, I can't miss it.

4. Bones; Yes I know it's a CSI rip-off but it has that Moonlighting hint of a love story that adds another level. Boreanaz is and always will be a favorite,from Buffy to Angel and now Bones.

5. CSI; The original only! Marg Helgenburger is so hot for a 50 year old woman! William Peterson is the best leading actor on TV, Keifer Sutherland couldn't hold his jock!

6. Family Guy;still funny but not near the quality of Simpsons or South Park

7. 'Til Death;scarily realistic to us married folk,Brad Garrett is funny and his wife on the show(can't remember her name)has a great rack!LOL

8. Mythbusters;gotta love Jaime and Adam and damn if Kari isn't a hot little red-head!

9. American Idol; I never watched until this year and I have to admit it's a guilty pleasure. I can't knock it.

10. 24; Probably the most overrated show on TV but somehow still falls into the top 10. I'm just not impressed with the storylines. And the Chloe chick is disgustingly ugly,enough to almost not watch the show.